CULTURE SHOCK-most depressing feeling

Coming and teaching in Thailand wasn't a serious pivotal plan, just as its the only poor 3rd resort I reserved when hitting USA or China fails.
Right now, I am still in the brinks of culture shock. Weighing myself in every nook of the situations in order to adapt the country.
I thought it would be easier for me to get used to a country which is only an Asian neighboring country of the Philippines.
To my surprise,I felt a total naive ignorantly when my feet started to thump on the Siam soil, without knowing what to do and what's happening around. Just like a blind grappling in the midst of the dark without direction.
Honest to goodness, traveling or working abroad is a tenacious desire since I am purely surrounded with US immigrant kins and friends,which is up to now a wish to be granted,hopefully.
My heart is reluctant to show its feelings of agitation which to be in Thailand is a fulfillment of my long desire or not.
Hence, journeying to USA is still on the highest level of my dreams. It doesn't matter though if its not an English speaking countries so long I could make a conquering quest to the land of the blondes and white.( do I sound like a racist? don't get me wrong please, I hate segragation)its just that they have the nicest and progressive countries on earth.
Frankly, I'd have to say my dreams isn't fulfilled yet so as the God would give me the chance to see America or the countries that I long to see.
When I arrived at Bangkok (new) International Aiport it occured to me that Thailand is technologically progressive than Philippines. The airport is so big and centralized comparing to that our new terminal.
I was really stunned when we got on to a taxi which was a right hand drive. The city itself is not as dirty like in Manila.They don't horn their cars, no smoke belching and not reckless driving.Got the chance to see Bangkok for 5 days because the school wants me to obtain a working visa, which the system in the immigration was really confusing and bad. A few of them can speak English, really.
During halloween, they celebrated it differently from the rest of the world like the usual we do.Its one of their big festival which was a cleansing of the soul by floating small flower boat made of banana or improvised one.
I watched how they celebrated it and its noisy to be exact but tolerable.

MY FIRST TRAVEL ABROAD

Sorry for the long blog absent...I failed to write something because my time was occupied with so many things. Now, I am back and updating it once again about the recent happenings of my life.
I didn't expect that the first country that I was about to visit is Thailand.It never popped out just as my plan would be either in USA or China.
When a sudden call came from Thailand, I was hesitant at first to accept the call since it's not my target.
I prayed hard and was asking signs from the Lord, believing that it was really God's will.All my things were packed up just as preparing myself for the new environment that I am going to throd.
As I was heading to the airport with friends to accompany me, I never felt the excitement nor the happiness since I knew that I am leaving for a country that I never prayed so hard nor asking God for it that much.
When Cebu Pacific airline touched down the airport,my feelings was like backing out and going home to the Philippines.
The emotions of homesickness hit me like a fist while we were driving to Bangkok to get a rest for a while since I arrived almost 12 midnight.The excitement had never visited me so as I didn't appreciate much of my coming here in Thailand.
After all, I thank God for giving me the chance to see the other side of the world though it didn't reach my expectations.I hate to complain at all to the Lord because He has been so good to me.
The place where I am staying right now is located at the northern part of Thailand, 3 hours from Bangkok by van and 41/2 by bus. I felt more frustrated when none of them can't understand my English nor nobody from the place could talk to me except the Thai English teachers with their awful lucid English, but for the high school students it drained my strength so badly.
To be in Thailand wasn't a dream to me since I am always wishing to be in the country of blondes and white people, especially in the English speaking countries. I knew God works in a mysterious ways but sometimes my human understanding isn't deep enough to comprehend His ways.
My first day of teaching was so terrible so as on the second day since I can't fully extend my horizon on how to tickle them.Nevertheless, I am already here but still praying that God would send me home.

MELANCHOLY PLACE

As a young person, happiness and contentment isn't hard to achieve so as finding the way which you never know where to go. Uncertainties in life is becoming normal to human just as the way you look around seems to be monotonous.
This is the common life of a common person who tried to combat the loneliness of this world while finding the light in the midst of a dimmed melancholic place.
Just as the blind continue to grapple the hard things he can hold on to, the same way we continue to walk in the darkside of life until we finally found the light beyond the borders of failures.

ONE SOLITARY LIFE

Was blog absent for a while..decided myself to be in the hiatus for a couple of days since I was occupied with tutorial works so as my monetary budget was out..then. Now, I am back and love to share things more of me.
When you see the face of a person smiling, just as the sunshines in the sky shows the world that one feels happy and the moods is soaring high.
Most of the times, I feel so very sad and really don't know why, maybe its because I am struggling & grappling still attaining my dreams. Friends would just jokingly said, its a matter of tuning yourself through different frequencies of life; go with the flow of the current where it leads you.
Life is like a river continuous procession moving forward in a steady stream. Sometimes the flowing is rough when it isn't too deep. One of the reasons why I am sad its because halfway of my friends and acquaintances were already gone abroad and some of which were expecting me to be at the other side of the world already, grazing the greenest pasture.
I have thought occasionally that I was born unlucky, deprived by fate. Albeit failed a hundred times or so I am still firmly determined to try with the hope fortune would give its damn way. As luck would have it, my spirited heart has resolved the simpler form of acceptance, so long as the world continue to revolve around the axis there is still hope.
As the song goes " beyond the dark cloudy nights, the sun is shining through".I would have retired my fate if God would leave me just as it is..but I believed He won't do that to a special creature like me.

A STRONG MAN VERSUS A MAN OF STRENGTH

A Strong Man isn't afraid of anything...
But a Man of Strength shows courage in the midst of his fear.

A Strong Man won't let anyone get the best of him...
But a Man of Strength gives the best of his to everyone...

A Strong Man makes mistakes and avoids the same in the future...
But a Man of Strength realizes life's mistakes can also be unexpected blessings an capitalizes on them...

A Strong Man wears a look of confidence on his face...
But a Man of Strength wears courage.

A Strong Man has faith that he is strong enough for the journey..
But a Man of Strength has faith that it is in the journey that he will become strong.

A Strong Man works out everyday to keep his body in shape....
But a Man of Strength builds relationship to keep his soul in shape.

A Strong Man tangibly shows and proves his masochism through responding to a sensation...
But a Man of Strength strives his best to resist temptation.

Got this inspiring line from a book that I borrowed (and refused to return it back) since its all about Compendium..among the collections I read from the book is this A Strong Man versus A Man of Strength.
What is the difference between being a Strong Man and a Man of Strength? I guess the two has distinctive separated characteristics..
We consider ourselves strong because we believe we are ,yet,it was only a form of defensing ourselves so as we don't want to be called as weak.
However, we failed to be a Man of Strength because we refused to recognize our weaknesses nor accepting our errors but pushing ourselves to believe that we are.
It is God who makes us strong and who gives us the strength just to be the both.
There's nothing wrong being a Strong Man so as a Man of Srength...what if we combined the two? can we be a Strong Man just as a Man of Srength?
I think the two should go together, they are parallel depending on how you claim yourself and share it to what it is.

A GRAIN OF DREAMS

Each day that you live is like turning the page of a book that still has no end. One whole day is a continuation of the story that makes up your life.
I've been away for a quite sometimes and was unable to update my blog since I'm getting addictive of Facebook farmtown games so as the Twitter.It's already the month of September which the signs of Christmas started to fill our days with the coolness of the weather.Ber(as in September, October, November) has been the starting point of Christmas in the Philippines though it isn't visibly clear but you can feel it the blowing of the air that gently touches your face coldly.
Sadness won't leave me peacefully since counting the year 2009 is becoming a months now yet nothing happens in my life worth to be counted of.
I have a couples of applications that was sent and under evaluation by now which is a good opportunity (from) abroad.My fingers is crossed tightly that somehow the Celestial Being would be kind enough to me this year...I really need to get out of the island before the year ends.
My journey as I grow older is the process of knowing who I am, then recognizing my strengths, and limitations, and finally realization would proved me that no matter how I dream big still its a grain of dreams after all.
Sometimes my knees shake painfully, too tired of fighting the same reasons and goal yet nothing happens...Honestly, familiar faces whom I know which some of them are younger than me successfully making their way abroad that brings so much pain and tears in my life, why they have the good chance to work abroad yet I can't?
Signs isn't enough to be appreciated that opportunity is on its way to my door ready to be grasped...I had enough signs..so enough for it...I want answers that would satisfied my long questions.

OLONGAPO: A POTPOURRI OF CUISINE

Source:www.gdhs.org)
I got this old pic in the 80's at the site of George Dewey High School mentioning of Olongapo wasn't only a place of clubs, bars, discos, and sex workers but also fine dinings around the city itself.
This pic was featured in the GDHS newspaper a school intended for Americans who were living in the Base at that time.Of course, it was contributed by GDHS students news journalist.
Olongapo was then considered as the sin city because of its prostitutions and American G.I.Joes seeking for pleasure when they had their cruisers docked in the Subic, but thanks to this newspaper for saving Olongapo from the shameful mockering of prejudice and shallow minds.




MAGSAYSAY: MORE THAN JUST A STREET
Way back then, Magsaysay was the famous street in Olongapo because its the center of entertainment and the bridge that connects the main gate of Subic Naval Base and the main city Olongapo.If you are a nocturnal fellows and wants to have the best nightlife in the Philippines, Magsaysay was the little Las Vegas back then...clubs, discos for old and for young, bars you name it and Magsaysay had it.
My family were able to survive the pangs of poverty because most of my kins income were coming from the nightly pleasure(don't get me wrong of this term) of Magsaysay. Magsaysay Ave.as we called it now for it was the center and the source of Olongaponians bread and butter.It was fun & lively then comparing it today,the streets were filled beautiful workers and snowied with Americans.
I had a lot of sweet memories in Magsaysay where I used to hang out at my brother's work watching the latest videos while sipping coke.
Across Magsaysay is a long boulevard facing Subic Naval Base, which is a volunteers park now was among of my fave places in Olongapo.I just usually found myself staring at that Base filled with dreams and hopes that one day soon,I could live and be a part of the Americans.That's how so simple my happiness way back then,to be in Subic Naval Base which was already an America for me.Nostalgic as it may seems but my heart is still flashing back the good old memories.

REMEMBERING 80'S COMMERCIALS

Those who grew up and spent their teen-agers life in the 80's just like me, I guess you have the reasons to remember these videos way back then.
Its proclaiming that the youth is the hope and future of this world...that the new generation is people's tomorrow.
This commercial jingle was advertised by Coke drinks choosing young people of the 80's as the next ones who will build the future...I truly missed this commercial..truly brings me back in time again.Too bad to recall, that I considered myself then as tomorrow's people but I haven't proven myself to the world as the new inspiration,and a new builder for the coming Gen X.


TOMORROW"S PEOPLE

I am the future of the world
I am the hope of my nation
I am tomorrow"s people
I am the new inspiration
And we've got a song to sing for you
We've got a message to bring to you
Please let there be, for you and me,
A tomorrow (tomorrow)
If we all can agree
There" ll be sweet harmony
Tomorrow (tomorrow)
If we all will be there to share
Feelings so real and so true
Promise us tomorrow
And we""ll build a better world for
you.


This one was shown using our very own version led by Lilet....the former teen star singer back then.